Family ties

I notice that people comment on their family dynamics. They are quick to point out the negatives in those to whom they are related. They tell you that their sister is overweight, their brother is a philanderer, or that their father can't seem to hold down a job. In the process of recounting their stories, they are telling you how they have personalized what is happening. This is how they have tied themselves emotionally to another family member. It is as if they are trying to walk the same path as that person. We know all too well that that is not possible. The best way to deal with these family dynamics is to detach from the situation with love. It is not up to us to know what the journey of another includes. If their relative's behavior is having a negative impact on them, it is acceptable to take steps to establish boundaries. This may involve limiting the time spent together or not taking responsibility for the debt they incur. When this is done it can be out of respect and not as a way to punish. If this applies to your own family members, give this approach serious consideration. At the same time, think of how you may be the topic of conversation in your role in the family dynamics. What concerns you about another family member that could benefit from a change on your part?