I feel for you

How often do you hear people say, “I feel so sorry for you” or “I feel so happy for you?” What is important to note here is that you cannot feel someone else’s feelings for them. What you are saying in actuality is that you feel sorrow or happiness when they share with you what is happening for them. Their words trigger your own emotions around their story.This is your ability to connect empathically with others. This also relates to telling another person, “I know just how you feel.” You can never truly feel exactly what another person is experiencing as they recount an emotional event in their life. What you are recounting is your experience with something similar, but not the same, as what they are sharing with you. The best you can do is to reflect on what they are saying with words such as, “I hear you saying how sad or happy this event is for you.” Of course it could be any other emotion the person is talking about. This approach respects the other person’s unique experience with what is happening. You would most likely want the same from them. When was the last time you told someone, “I feel (emotion) for you”and what might you do to change that response?

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