The blame game

How often do you hear the statement, "It's all your fault" or "You made me do that"? When you catch yourself making such a statement, stop and ask yourself what you are really feeling. Most often blame is about being stuck somewhere between anger and hurt. Perhaps your blaming comes from feeling hurt that that the other person disappointed you in some way. Or it comes from anger that you didn't get what you wanted. The emotion you are feeling belongs to you and is not the responsibility of the other person. You have a choice in your response to the event. When you blame another, you take yourself out of the equation. You place your sense of well-being into the hands of another allowing him or her to be the master of your fate. This is one form of giving away your power to another. You elevate their power over you and minimize your own making you a victim. How well does that serve you? Stop to take stock of what you are feeling at the moment you want to blame and own that feeling. The decide what you want to do about it in a way that maintains your power in a healthy productive way. Then ask yourself how you felt and what you thought about your handling of the situation. There will be a noticeable shift within you as you do this. When was the last time you blamed someone and how did it work out to benefit you?